Now that we’ve covered the basics of grilling, let’s talk a bit about what you’re going to be putting on said grill, and eventually into your face hole.
Let’s begin with STEAK
This is where I grew up. Calgary, Al-motherfucking-berta. otherwise known as Cowtown, home to the greatest outdoor show on earth . Beef runs in our veins as much as the oil we use fuel our economy to buy it.
As an Albertan and butcher trade drop out, I know a little bit about beef.
I always get asked what are grilling steaks and what are marinating steaks. If you’re showing up to the block party with an eye of round, because it “looked like a good size” you’re doing it wrong.
THE LOIN RULE
I pretty much just made this up… but I can assure you, it’s legit.
Steak comes from the hind quarter of the cow.
Basically, if it’s got the word “Loin” in it, you’re good to grill… well, and the Rib Eye… the ribeye counts too.
“What about T-bones, Chris?”
The T-Bone Steak is made up of the TenderLOIN (the smaller muscle) and the StripLOIN (the bigger muscle). It’s the BOSS of the BBQ.
The only thing greater than the T Bone a straight up tenderloin. Filet Mignon, bitch. Get it in your face at least once in your life.
DISCLAIMER: The only exception to the “Loin” rule is the SirLOIN Tip. The reason for this, is because secretly, is also called the Round Tip or the Tri tip. It actually comes from the ROUND section of the hind quarter. It’s a really tough, muscle-ey part of the cow (right between the leg and the flank).
Don’t get suckered in by the price of this bitch. It’s a chewy, unforgiving, shitty piece of meat without marinating or doing something to it when it comes to grilling.
Fun Fact: Sirloin Tip’s make great Kebobs… in case you give a fuck about that kind of shit.
Don’t get fooled between the Sirloin TIP and the TOP sirloin. The Top Sirloin is legit. I like this piece of meat becuase you can make it go a long way. I like using it to grill and put in wraps and make stir fry’s with.
Steaks that need to be Marinated.
here is the BEST GODDAMNED FLANK STEAK MARINADE RECIPE IN THE WORLD. It’s so radical, it has been my birthday meal every year since I was 10. It’s also my mom’s. Pretty sure it won’t let you down.
Another rule of steak (that I just made up) is; If it’s got “round” in it. You should marinate it.
• Eye of the round
• Inside round
• Outside round
I tend to stay away from the “Round” family altogether, unless I’m making a roast; even then, it’s rare that I’ll even bother with it… but that’s just me.
If you’re marinating sirloins (with the exception of the Tip) you’re doing it wrong, and probably ruining good steak.
That being said.
Marinades come in many types and flavors. There’s millions of awesome combinations to try. Throughout the course of our relationship I hope to inspire you enough and give you the fundamentals so you can start experimenting yourself.
Usual Suspects (depending on what you’re doing) include…
• Soy or Worcestershire Sauce
• Acids (Vinegar, Citrus, etc)
• Everything Nices
…and range in time needed from an hour up to 3 days.
HOW TO COOK THE PREFECTEST STEAK EVAR
Once you’ve got your steak on the grill, there only 2 technique that come into play.
The Finger Test. and resting it (see below)
If you poke it with ANYTHING, thermometer included or cut into it… I will punch you. Every grill is different, I strongly believe sea level is a factor… this is the most legit way of cooking a steak. Learn it, and you will swear by it.
ONLY FLIP IT ONCE. REFER TO THIS.
Personally, when it comes to seasoning steak, less is more.
If you’re going to put any type of salt on it (or any type of seasoning for that matter), do it WAY early. Not right before or while you’re cooking it.
Montreal Steak Spice is nice to put on after you’ve rested it, along with some garlic butter. mmmmmbitch.
If you’re drowning it in BBQ sauce… I can respect your life choice, but don’t condone it.
Do what you want. I’m not your real mom.
THIS. IS. CRUCIAL!!!
Allow 5 minutes for your meat to rest on a warmed plate or cutting board.
Give it a while to allow the juices to redistribute throughout the meat…. Instead of all over your plate and into your mashed potatoes and salad.
This will create that perfect melt in your mouth sensation.
Til next time,
GET IT IN YOUR FACE.